5 ways to avoid Court during a divorce30 Aug 2022 | Lisa Pepper
In 2020, there were 103,592 divorces granted in England and Wales (ONS statistics). The Rt Hon Sir Andrew McFarlane, who is President of the Family Division (the Family Court) says that many couples see divorce as a legal issue instead of a relationship issue. It would be better for everyone if they tried to resolve their differences in other ways and used the court as a last resort.
So how do you avoid a courtroom battle when you divorce? Here are our 5 top tips:
#01: Discuss your children arrangements first
After making the decision to divorce, on of the first things you should try to do is talk about children arrangements. You need to agree on their living arrangements and shared care. Even though you are divorcing, your children still need both of you in their lives (unless that would be contrary to the child’s welfare) – and research shows consistently that a long-running court case or mutual hostility between the parents is unhealthy for the child.
If your case did go to court, then the Judge would make an Order settling the arrangements, the paramount consideration in the court’s decision being the child’s welfare.
That is a good place to start as your primary goal. Another good thing to bear in mind is: what would they say to you? When you look back on this situation in 5 years time, how would you want to remember it – would you be proud of yourselves that you conducted your separation with dignity and were both able to put your children first? How do you want your children to remember this time?
#02: Talk about your finances
Another important matter you need to do is talk about your finances. You need to think about things like who will stay in the family home or is it to be sold, whether one of you will move out, and how you will divide your joint assets, such as property, savings and pensions, as well as how debts are to be dealt with.
A solicitor can help you to understand your rights and obligations under the law, and they can provide guidance on how to reach a fair and equitable agreement with your former spouse. If discussions break down, then a cost-effective process like mediation or private financial dispute resolution can help you strike a fair deal out of court – more on those below.
#03: Don’t play the blame game
In England and Wales, new ‘no fault’ divorce rules mean that you no longer have to apportion blame in order to obtain a divorce. You can simply state that your marriage has ‘irretrievably broken down’ in your divorce petition.
However, even though you no longer have to blame someone legally, it’s important not to play the blame game emotionally with your partner. How you behave during the divorce process will have a big impact on how well you cooperate and how smoothly the negotiations go. Yes, you may be hurt or angry. But try to take the high road and remind yourself of the bigger picture. This will help keep your negotiations on the right track.
#04: Use alternative ways to resolve disputes
There are many alternative ways to resolve disputes without going to court. Mediation can be a great way to meet with your ex-partner on neutral ground, using a trained third-party to help you reach an agreement without going to court.
For financial disputes, you also have the option of using private FDR (Financial Dispute Resolution). This is where you pay a very experienced family lawyer (frequently someone who also sits as a Judge) to act as a Private FDR Judge. The process is more informal than a court hearing and much less adversarial, so it’s more likely that a settlement will be reached.
#05: Choose a solicitor who prefers collaboration over aggression
When you’re choosing a family law solicitor to help with your divorce, it’s important to choose one who prefers collaboration over battling it out in a courtroom. Solicitors who prefer collaboration have lots of tools in their toolbox for resolving disputes amicably. They will help you communicate effectively with your ex and may recommend face-to-face meetings with them and their solicitor, to help you talk through your sticking points. They can also put you in touch with other professionals, such as mediators and financial experts, who can help you resolve things without going to court.
Our solicitors are members of Resolution. This means we’re committed to the constructive resolution of family disputes. The collaborative process can be quicker and cheaper than traditional legal methods, and much less stressful than going to court.
Lisa Pepper is a partner in the family department specialising in divorce and finance matters. She is also an accredited mediator. She is ranked as a leading lawyer in Chambers UK, Chambers HNW, The Legal 500, Spears HNW directory and Tatler Advisory.
To speak with Lisa or her team please call or complete the form below.
"She has a good way of talking to clients in an empathetic way and is also a highly recommended mediator."
"One of the most amiable, friendly and talented lawyers in London... she has impressed me as someone who fights my corner but also understands the importance of resolving issues without unnecessary escalation. She is calm and reassuring."
Lisa Pepper is the stand out performer of the practice. She is pragmatic and straightforward to deal with – committed to the good outcome for the family
Lisa Pepper is outstanding and highly approachable and effective. She has a lovely manner that brings out the best in clients.
Osbornes has a strong mediation team led by Lisa Pepper. Lisa is a very experienced mediator who often places clients at ease and allows them to discuss very difficult topics. She is empathetic but knows when to be more directive if the clients require.
Lisa Pepper is one of our go-to mediators. She provides a practical service, supporting clients to conclusion.
Lisa Pepper’s mediation practice is absolutely brilliant. Real value delivered with expert knowledge. Lisa is a first rate mediator.
Lisa Pepper is one of my go to mediators. Her calm, collected attitude and friendly persona allow clients to trust her and open up to her. Excellent service and top level advice.
Lisa Pepper – very down to earth and approachable.
Lisa Pepper is a talented lawyer and we regularly refer to her for mediation
"She is a phenomenal mediator. She is full of insight and is very creative in her solutions."
"She has a substantial amount of empathy which she brings to any mediation and she works extremely hard to gain the trust of people. She fully understands how complex financial disputes work and is well versed in dealing with individuals of high net worth."
Andrew secured me the best financial settlement for my claim. He is a credit to Osbornes Solicitors.
"Lisa Pepper was recommended to me as non-nonsense and able to help me with a difficult and confrontational divorce. She more than lived up to that – she was practical, collected and always available with a clear opinion and suggestions of how to move forwards. She also was open and helpful about costs and how to mitigate them"
"Mark Freedman is a very capable lawyer, renowned for not being a pushover and pushing his clients’ cases as much as he can, but will always talk sensibly about settlement. He is among the best – tenacious, good judgment and tactically aware."
"Mark Freedman is a dynamic and highly experienced family lawyer who fights extremely hard for his clients and is always in their corner, thus ensuring their loyalty and confidence. In a trial you would always want him on your side."
"Lisa Pepper is an outstanding mediator. She is very skilled and has an empathetic and professional approach which is comforting for clients. She never imposes her own view but is even handed and provides helpful guidance to clients so that they can make empowered decisions"
"Lisa Pepper has built up a very impressive mediation practice. She is very engaging and easy to relate to. She embodies mediation in the sense that she approaches her case in a very non-judgmental fashion and can quickly gain the confidence of those with whom she is mediating"
"Lisa Pepper is a brilliant mediator who produces results. She is effective at resolving matters without the need for the parties to engage in expensive and protracted litigation"
"Lisa Pepper is a fantastic mediator. She is fair, robust when she needs to be, and finds a way of facilitating agreements in the hardest of cases. Her guidance is spot on. She has an approachable and constructive mediation style"
"She has impressed me as someone who fights my corner but also understands the importance of resolving issues without unnecessary escalation. She is calm and reassuring."
"Her mediation practice is exceptional; she is also a great solicitor and has a breadth of skill which is really useful."
"He is really experienced and wise. He has a lovely manner about him and clients feel safe with him."
"Jo Wescott is top notch and widely recognised as a rising star throughout the profession. She brings a winning combination of great judgement, an immense work ethic, and a relaxed and charming way with opponents and clients alike. Someone you want on your side”
Lisa Pepper is extremely approachable and this shines through in the outcomes she achieves from mediation. She makes clients feel at ease, which enables them to feel empowered to resolve matters amicably and find a creative outcome which many mediators may have overlooked.
Lisa Pepper is building a very strong mediation practice at very competitive rates and is able to build a rapport quickly with almost anyone.
Lisa Pepper loves her work and has a very sensible head on her. That means her practice is thriving and rightly so.
Lisa Pepper is very thorough in her preparation and has super personal skills to put parties in mediation at ease
"Osbornes is pre-eminent for family law in North London. Mark Freedman is a real rainmaker. He is an excellent lawyer and has a top-notch practice"
Mark Freedman is intelligent and personable and has a good selection of high-net work cases.
"Exceptional value for money. Highly competent and reasonably priced. Mark Freedman: one of the best in the field."
"Client-focused. Ready to fight the clients’ corner, but also ready where possible to steer client from unnecessary dispute. Mark Freedman – very experienced, with good instinct for the eventual result. Clients love him and he thinks ahead and directs the client to the best result for the client."
Mark Freedman is a serious player. A fearless family law litigator, who protects his clients’ interests passionately.
Lisa Pepper – good litigator, very friendly and approachable but tough, “straight bat” with the opposition. Can steer a client deftly to settle when he should.
Breadth of knowledge and willingness to go the extra mile is what makes it stand out. Mark Freedman – devoted to his clients
Lisa Pepper is particularly recognised for her role as a mediator in complex cross-border disputes. Her practice also includes handling prenuptial agreements and issues arising from the dissolution of civil partnerships.
Mark Freedman frequently takes on high-value financial and children proceedings that involve complex tax, trust and accounting issues. Sources praise the "tenacity and common sense" he brings to challenging disputes.
"Mark is very experienced, competent, good with clients and takes a sensible approach to cases. He knows exactly what he's doing."
"Lisa Pepper is "caring and considerate of the issues behind a matter, and will speak directly if she feels clients need that advice."
"An exceptional outfit. They take on difficult cases, fight hard and win."
"The team frequently deals with cross-border estates for high–net-worth individuals."
"Mark Freedman is a real heavyweight litigator who has dealt with some very significant cases."
"Mark Freedman boxes clever, keeps his powder dry and when it comes to the end game he negotiates a really good deal."
"Mark Freedman has a specific focus on high-net-worth divorces and finance cases where there are overseas assets and trusts."
"The very personable and client-focused Lisa Pepper."
"Lisa Pepper somehow manages to get parties to settle on matters where there isn’t much hope to start out with."
"Lisa can handle the large and complicated cases but takes equal care with the smaller cases. She is a highly skilled mediator who is a consummate professional."
"Well-regarded family practice assisting clients with substantial matrimonial disputes and sensitive children proceedings."
"Mark Freedman draws acclaim for his work in high net worth divorce cases, including those involving company structures, family trusts and overseas assets."
"He never gives up. He fights for you to the end and has boundless energy."
Mark Freedman advises high-net-worth clients and knows his stuff.
Lisa Pepper is always looking for a solution and has a very sympathetic approach to clients. She is highly regarded for her collaborative law practice.
Highly regarded for his experience as a litigation and mediation expertise, Mark Freedman is tenacious and determined. Clients really feel that he is fighting their corner.
Andrew handled a very complex, 3 year legal battle for me, with a tremendous amount of patience and professionalism. He is very approachable, always kept me up to date, by phone and e-mail, and responded very quickly to my queries with excellent advice, sound strategic thinking and strong letters to put the other side under pressure. With top contacts for barristers, joint experts and mediation.
[The Family Law department] handles significant matrimonial finance cases and complex nuptial agreements. Respected for its expertise in cross-border children law matters.
Lisa Pepper deals with separation proceedings and leave to remove cases. Sources describe her as "a great person to work with: constructive, helpful and always infectiously happy.
Mark Freedman represents high net worth clients in complex financial disputes. Sources say that "he's a determined negotiator who'll always do the very best for his clients.
"Mark Freedman receives a lot of instructions from clients based abroad, often relating to complex divorce proceedings. Sources say: “His main strengths are his enthusiastic passion for the job in hand and his total dedication to his clients.”
Insights from Lisa PepperVIEW ALL
What are the rules on pension sharing?
Pensions are one of the biggest assets of a marriage, yet many people are uncertain about whether they are entitled...Read more
What is a transfer of equity?
Transfer of equity in divorce Transfer of equity refers to the process of transferring part or all of a property...Read more
5 ways to avoid Court during a divorce
In 2020, there were 103,592 divorces granted in England and Wales (ONS statistics). The Rt Hon Sir Andrew McFarlane, who is President...Read more
Couples struggling to agree divorce settlements amid cost...
The cost of living crisis and uncertainty about future mortgage rates are scuppering divorce negotiations as couples fear reaching financial...Read more
Elon Musk affair rumours highlight the many benefits...
Elon Musk hit the headlines recently, denying rumours that he had an affair with the wife of Google cofounder Sergey...Read more
How to get a divorce
Step-by-step Guide to Getting Divorced In April 2022, new no-fault divorce rules replaced the old fault-based system in England and Wales....Read more
My ex has cut me off during divorce
Unfortunately, it is far too common that when a client says it’s over, their spouse with the “purse strings”...Read more
How the Court views loans from parents during...
A frequent issue in financial divorce cases is a loan from a spouse’s parent, often to pay legal fees,...Read more
Mediation or Arbitration: What’s best for me?
Few divorcing couples want to end up in court, which is why mediation and arbitration are faster and more effective...Read more
Divorcing couples reaching financial settlement through Private FDR
The Runaway Advantages of the Private FDR Our specialist lawyers are keen to ensure our divorcing clients achieve cost-effective outcomes...Read more
Divorce applications shut down from 31 March 2022
From last year all divorce petitions in England and Wales were to be submitted to the court using the court...Read more
Family Mediation: a cost-effective alternative to court action
Mediation is increasingly important for our clients in their efforts to resolve children and financial issues divorce. This week (17 to 21...Read more
6 cases that shape a private children dispute
Family disputes involving children can be particularly emotive, which is why our expert children lawyers work tirelessly to understand how...Read more
Who Pays Child Maintenance?
Child maintenance is regular, reliable financial support that helps towards a child’s everyday living costs. The Child Maintenance Service (...Read more
Are irreconcilable differences grounds for divorce?
If you have come across this article it may have been as a result of an online search to see...Read more
Negotiating financial settlements in divorce
Costly and acrimonious divorces: a lesson in what not to do If you’re determined to pursue your financial claims...Read more
Child arrangements for going abroad when separated
I am separated from my spouse – can I take the children abroad on holiday? The answer to this question is...Read more
Keeping social media out of divorce proceedings
We’ve recently seen the playing out on twitter and Instagram of the high-profile separation of actor Ioan Gruffudd and...Read more
I helped build my spouse’s career
What is the impact on our divorce settlement? It’s been almost two years since The Da Vinci Code author...Read more
How to speed up a divorce
6 steps to speed up the divorce process For many people, once they have made the decision that their marriage is...Read more
6 cases that shape your divorce settlement
Part of what makes our divorce lawyers experts in their field is knowing what way a judge is likely to...Read more
Child Maintenance: When is capital, income?
Reading a recent case from the Child Maintenance Tribunal, I considered it worth flagging up that the Child Maintenance Rules...Read more
Child arrangements affected by pandemic travel restrictions
International families experiencing long separation periods from children As pandemic restrictions continue to limit overseas travel, increasing numbers of separated...Read more
Divorce in your 60s – The Financial Implications
How common is a divorce in your 60s? The latest divorce figures from the Office of National Statistics (ONS) show...Read more