Keeping social media out of divorce proceedings

9 Nov 2021 | Lisa Pepper

We’ve recently seen the playing out on twitter and Instagram of the high-profile separation of actor Ioan Gruffudd and his wife Alice Evans, culminating in at least one detailed newspaper article written by Evans herself.

However, portraying yourself publicly as a woman – or man – scorned can be interpreted as malicious and is ill-advised. Posting about your breakup also risks criticism by a judge and it could have cost implications – or worse. Lisa Pepper, a specialist divorce lawyer at Osbornes Law is experienced in advising clients how best to manage their relationship breakdown while minimising the longer term risks to their case. Below is Lisa’s advice when it comes to using social media when going through a divorce.

Think before you post

The temptation to publicly expose your pain and anguish on social media carries a real risk of harming your case in subsequent divorce and financial proceedings. Unfortunately, an increasing number of family clients are posting comments in the heat of the moment, without considering the possibility it could backfire.

Dangers

We understand how tempting it is to air your emotional pain via social media when your relationship breaks down. However, you need to consider the possibility that your posts and comments could be used against you by your former partner. If you’re tempted to post intimidating or negative comments about your partner, to publicise a new relationship by way of revenge or name someone who has a right to privacy, it could come back to haunt you.

Lawyers will, if the evidence is there, trawl an individual’s social media accounts and are prepared to use posts against the other side if that will bolster client’s their case.

A recent case that followed a relationship breakdown illustrates just how seriously the courts will treat a party in a family dispute who posts carelessly online. In September, a father-of-three was sentenced to 10 months in prison for breaching a court order and repeatedly posting on Facebook about the case that involved his children.

Many of his posts were angry, confrontational and insulting to the court and to others. They included repeated abuse of his former partner and gave private details of the case and his ex and the children. The court acknowledged that he must have caused his former partner a high level of emotional trauma and could cause future harm to the children.

How should I react?

Our divorce lawyers understand how distressing a relationship breakdown is; and that it is natural to want to share your feelings of hurt and anger. But avoid the temptation to vent your emotions and express revenge on social media.

Our specialist family law partner Lisa Pepper says: “My advice is don’t do it – you are putting down evidence that can be used against you.  The best tactic is often silence – the other party not knowing what you are thinking and that can be  much more powerful. Be reasonable and dignified.”

By adopting such a stance, your ex may even start to doubt their initial decision to leave the relationship. They might be in the throes of passion with someone else right now, but it will wane. Sooner or later they may well come to a realisation of what they have left behind.

“But if you are going to show emotion – show that you’re heartbroken”, adds Lisa. “If you can make the other party feel guilty, they may prove more generous when it comes to negotiating a financial settlement.”

So think carefully before you go on an anger and hurt-fuelled media campaign; you will reinforce to your partner that they have made the right decision. Don’t shoot yourself in the foot.

Osbornes Law are leading divorce lawyers in London. The firm is ranked in the legal directories and has been named as one of the best law firms in England since 2019. We have two offices based in Hampstead and Camden. The firm is also shortlisted as London Family Law Firm of the Year 2022 at the Family Law Awards.

Lisa Pepper is a partner in the family department specialising in Divorce, finance and children matters. She is also an accredited mediator. Lisa specialises in helping parties with considerable international assets. She is ranked as a leading lawyer in Chambers UK, Chambers HNW, The Legal 500, Spears HNW directory and Tatler Advisory.

Contact Lisa by filling in an online form.

Share this article

Contact

Contact Lisa Pepper today

For a free initial conversation call 0207 485 8811

Email us Send us an email and we’ll get back to you






    • "She has a good way of talking to clients in an empathetic way and is also a highly recommended mediator."

      Chambers UK 2022

    • "One of the most amiable, friendly and talented lawyers in London... she has impressed me as someone who fights my corner but also understands the importance of resolving issues without unnecessary escalation. She is calm and reassuring."

      Chambers UK 2022

    • Lisa Pepper – very down to earth and approachable.

      Legal 500 2022

    • "Lisa Pepper was recommended to me as non-nonsense and able to help me with a difficult and confrontational divorce. She more than lived up to that – she was practical, collected and always available with a clear opinion and suggestions of how to move forwards. She also was open and helpful about costs and how to mitigate them"

      Legal 500 2021

    • "Lisa Pepper is an outstanding mediator. She is very skilled and has an empathetic and professional approach which is comforting for clients. She never imposes her own view but is even handed and provides helpful guidance to clients so that they can make empowered decisions"

      Legal 500 2021

    • "Lisa Pepper has built up a very impressive mediation practice. She is very engaging and easy to relate to. She embodies mediation in the sense that she approaches her case in a very non-judgmental fashion and can quickly gain the confidence of those with whom she is mediating"

      Legal 500 2021

    • "Lisa Pepper is a brilliant mediator who produces results. She is effective at resolving matters without the need for the parties to engage in expensive and protracted litigation"

      Legal 500 2021

    • "Lisa Pepper is a fantastic mediator. She is fair, robust when she needs to be, and finds a way of facilitating agreements in the hardest of cases. Her guidance is spot on. She has an approachable and constructive mediation style"

      Legal 500 2021

    • "She has impressed me as someone who fights my corner but also understands the importance of resolving issues without unnecessary escalation. She is calm and reassuring."

    • "Her mediation practice is exceptional; she is also a great solicitor and has a breadth of skill which is really useful."

      Chambers UK 2021

    • Lisa Pepper is extremely approachable and this shines through in the outcomes she achieves from mediation. She makes clients feel at ease, which enables them to feel empowered to resolve matters amicably and find a creative outcome which many mediators may have overlooked.

      Legal 500 2020 - Lisa Pepper

    • Lisa Pepper is building a very strong mediation practice at very competitive rates and is able to build a rapport quickly with almost anyone.

      Legal 500 2020 - Lisa Pepper

    • Lisa Pepper loves her work and has a very sensible head on her. That means her practice is thriving and rightly so.

      Legal 500 2020 - Lisa Pepper

    • Lisa Pepper is very thorough in her preparation and has super personal skills to put parties in mediation at ease

      Legal 500 2020 - Lisa Pepper

    • Lisa Pepper – good litigator, very friendly and approachable but tough, “straight bat” with the opposition. Can steer a client deftly to settle when he should.

      Legal 500 2020 - Lisa Pepper

    • "Lisa Pepper is "caring and considerate of the issues behind a matter, and will speak directly if she feels clients need that advice."

      Chambers UK

    • "The very personable and client-focused Lisa Pepper."

      The Legal 500

    • "Lisa Pepper somehow manages to get parties to settle on matters where there isn’t much hope to start out with."

      The Legal 500

    • "Lisa can handle the large and complicated cases but takes equal care with the smaller cases. She is a highly skilled mediator who is a consummate professional."

      The Legal 500

    • Lisa Pepper is always looking for a solution and has a very sympathetic approach to clients. She is highly regarded for her collaborative law practice.

      Chambers UK

    • Lisa Pepper deals with separation proceedings and leave to remove cases. Sources describe her as "a great person to work with: constructive, helpful and always infectiously happy.

      Chambers UK

    Insights from Lisa PepperVIEW ALL

    1. open door - how to get a divorce
      19.5.2022

      How to get a divorce

      Step-by-step Guide to Getting Divorced In April 2022, new no-fault divorce rules replaced the old fault-based system in England and Wales....

      Read more
    2. 6.5.2022

      My ex has cut me off during divorce

      Unfortunately, it is far too common that when a client says it’s over, their spouse with the “purse strings”...

      Read more
    3. 6.5.2022

      How the Court views loans from parents during...

      A frequent issue in financial divorce cases is a loan from a spouse’s parent, often to pay legal fees,...

      Read more
    4. 12.4.2022

      Mediation or Arbitration: What’s best for me?

      Few divorcing couples want to end up in court, which is why mediation and arbitration are faster and more effective...

      Read more
    5. 11.4.2022

      Divorcing couples reaching financial settlement through Private FDR

      The Runaway Advantages of the Private FDR Our specialist lawyers are keen to ensure our divorcing clients achieve cost-effective outcomes...

      Read more
    6. 28.2.2022

      Divorce applications shut down from 31 March 2022

      From last year all divorce petitions in England and Wales were to be submitted to the court using the court...

      Read more
    7. 20.1.2022

      Family Mediation: a cost-effective alternative to court action

      Mediation is increasingly important for our clients in their efforts to resolve children and financial issues divorce. This week (17 to 21...

      Read more
    8. family in poppy field
      18.1.2022

      6 cases that shape a private children dispute

      Family disputes involving children can be particularly emotive, which is why our expert children lawyers work tirelessly to understand how...

      Read more
    9. father and son
      13.12.2021

      Who Pays Child Maintenance?

      Child maintenance is regular, reliable financial support that helps towards a child’s everyday living costs. The Child Maintenance Service (...

      Read more
    10. 9.12.2021

      Are irreconcilable differences grounds for divorce?

      If you have come across this article it may have been as a result of an online search to see...

      Read more
    11. 9.12.2021

      Negotiating financial settlements in divorce

      Costly and acrimonious divorces: a lesson in what not to do  If you’re determined to pursue your financial claims...

      Read more
    12. 25.11.2021

      Child arrangements for going abroad when separated

      I am separated from my spouse – can I take the children abroad on holiday? The answer to this question is...

      Read more
    13. 9.11.2021

      Keeping social media out of divorce proceedings

      We’ve recently seen the playing out on twitter and Instagram of the high-profile separation of actor Ioan Gruffudd and...

      Read more
    14. 9.11.2021

      I helped build my spouse’s career

      What is the impact on our divorce settlement? It’s been almost two years since The Da Vinci Code author...

      Read more
    15. negotiation
      9.11.2021

      How to speed up a divorce

      6 steps to speed up the divorce process For many people, once they have made the decision that their marriage is...

      Read more
    16. 9.11.2021

      6 cases that shape your divorce settlement

      Part of what makes our divorce lawyers experts in their field is knowing what way a judge is likely to...

      Read more
    17. father and children
      10.8.2021

      Child Maintenance: When is capital, income?

      Reading a recent case from the Child Maintenance Tribunal, I considered it worth flagging up that the Child Maintenance Rules...

      Read more
    18. 21.7.2021

      Child arrangements affected by pandemic travel restrictions

      International families experiencing long separation periods from children As pandemic restrictions continue to limit overseas travel, increasing numbers of separated...

      Read more
    19. 27.4.2021

      Divorce in your 60s – The Financial Implications

      How common is a divorce in your 60s? The latest divorce figures from the Office of National Statistics (ONS) show...

      Read more
    20. father and son
      11.3.2021

      Financial responsibilities of father on divorce

      What are the financial responsibilities of a father on divorce? The period drama Bridgerton, the runaway success of the winter,...

      Read more
    21. 5.3.2021

      Contesting a prenuptial agreement

      Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are getting a divorce after nearly seven years of marriage.  According to reports, Kim filed...

      Read more
    22. 24.2.2021

      Welfare of Child Remains Priority for Courts In...

      If press reports are to be believed, the Kim Kardashian /Kanye West split will not lead to a custody battle...

      Read more
    23. london houses
      9.2.2021

      When can you claim PPR Relief on more...

      Family lawyers are familiar with ‘Mesher Orders‘ where the court orders that as part of the financial settlement on divorce,...

      Read more
    24. 26.10.2020

      5 top tips to finding the best London divorce...

      Finding the right lawyer to advise you on one of the most traumatic changes in your life, is a serious...

      Read more

    VIEW ALL