Children disagreements during Easter holidays

19 Jun 2012 | Lisa Pepper

Table of Contents

The Easter holidays can be a flashpoint for disagreements. When couples separate, it can be very difficult to reach an agreement on how that time with the children is shared fairly. Lisa Pepper discusses what steps parents can take to reach an agreement.

Unfortunately, one or other party can lose sight of the fact that they should be putting the children and their needs first, and many other factors can come into play: guilt, jealousy, and emotional hurt, to name but a few, can be the drivers. A good place to start if there are difficulties in agreeing on contact is the Resolution Parenting after Parting workshops which are being run in the London area in the evenings on weekends. You can find further information by calling into our reception to collect a Parenting after Parting leaflet or online at www.resolution.org.uk/parentingafterparting.

Business like approach

Although your relationship may have ended, your role as a parent has not. In the early stages of separation, it can be helpful to behave with a businesslike attitude and try to separate your emotional feelings from discussions on matters concerning the children. Whatever your feelings are towards your ex-partner, you need to talk to them respectfully as the parent of your children. It is vitally important that the children do not witness conflict between their parents, and therefore any difficult discussions should not be held when they are in earshot, for example, at handover times or during telephone conversations.

Court or Collaborative

If you are unable to reach an agreement amicably with your ex-partner, then Court should not be your next step. The adversarial nature of the Court process is stressful, lengthy and has not been found to benefit the children (and in addition, the costs are prohibitively expensive). If you need assistance in reaching an agreement with your ex-partner, then you should consider mediation or collaborative law. Collaborative law is a form of mediation where the parties and their lawyers agree not to go to Court and instead have meetings together around a table.

Of course, with the best will in the world, for some couples, sadly, there is no other option but to issue an application to Court for a Contact or Residence Order. If this occurs, the first hearing is most often a form of mediation but this time with the assistance of the Judge and a CAFCASS Officer (Children and Family Court Advisory Support Service). More information about CAFCASS here.

The instigation of Court proceedings in some cases is the only option, but it is important to note that once that process is commenced, other people are involved and some of the decision-making and control is taken away from the parties due to the nature of the Court process. This article can only give a very brief overview of the options available to parents in resolving matters concerning contact. The family department at Osbornes are firmly committed to putting our client’s needs first, listening to them, and guiding them through their choices and, most importantly, encouraging parents to put their children first.

Share this article

Contact

More from LisaVIEW ALL

  1. money
    13.5.2024

    Impact Of Extended Family Wealth On Divorce

    Can the Wealth of Extended Family Affect Your Divorce Outcomes? While there is no fundamental legal difference between a high-net-worth...

    Read more
  2. osbornes hampstead
    16.4.2024

    New Rules Guide Separating Couples Away From Court

    New guidance, if properly applied, could effectively compel couples to try anything but court as a way to resolve their...

    Read more
  3. Perjury
    17.1.2024

    What Happens If You Lie in Family Court?

    Honesty is the backbone of the English court system.  Witnesses in court take an oath that they will tell the...

    Read more
  4. Hampstead Hill Gardens
    21.12.2023

    Financial Remedy Orders Explained

    It is common for disagreements to arise over the finances during a divorce, even if you are on good terms...

    Read more
  5. field of flowers
    14.12.2023

    What is Parental Alienation?

    Sometimes, a child may turn against one of their parents due to the other parent’s manipulation or influence. This...

    Read more
  6. divorced man with empty wallet
    4.12.2023

    My spouse is going bankrupt. Will it affect...

    Divorce and Bankruptcy In 2022, more than 1 in 10 businesses reported a moderate-to-severe risk of insolvency. More than one in five (22%) of...

    Read more
  7. separation agreement
    29.11.2023

    What is a Separation Agreement?

    A separation agreement is a document that can be prepared  when you want to stop living together as a couple,...

    Read more
  8. Coercive Control
    23.11.2023

    What is Coercive Control?

    Domestic abuse comes in many forms. When it involves a campaign of threats, intimidation and psychological manipulation, it’s known...

    Read more
  9. child maintenance
    16.8.2023

    Child Maintenance for High Earners

    How much should be paid? When separating or divorcing parents cannot agree the amount of child maintenance to be paid, (...

    Read more
  10. Prenup agreement and gavel
    7.12.2022

    Judge ignores pre-nuptial agreement but factors in non-matrimonial...

    Case Law One of the reasons I am still passionate about family law, after 20 years in the field, is that...

    Read more
  11. chambers logo
    24.10.2022

    Thirty lawyers at Osbornes noted by Legal 500 2023

    Osbornes Law has once again been ranked in The Legal 500 2023. The Legal 500 is an independent legal guide which ranks leading...

    Read more
  12. pension pot
    30.8.2022

    Pension sharing on divorce

    What is the new procedure for pension sharing? Pensions are one of the biggest assets of a marriage, yet many...

    Read more
  13. door knocker
    30.8.2022

    What is a transfer of equity?

    Transfer of equity in divorce Transfer of equity refers to the process of transferring part or all of a property...

    Read more
  14. people holding cups
    30.8.2022

    Do You Have To Go To Court For...

    Can you divorce without going to court? If your divorce is uncontested and there are no disputes over issues such...

    Read more
  15. woman hand open empty purse
    6.5.2022

    My ex has cut me off during divorce

    Can my spouse cut me off financially? Unfortunately, it is far too common that when clients say it’s over,...

    Read more
  16. Close up of african american man with calculator
    6.5.2022

    Divorce Loans

    How the Court views loans from parents during divorce A frequent issue in financial divorce cases is a loan from...

    Read more
  17. Business people group handshake in office
    12.4.2022

    Mediation or Arbitration: What’s best for me?

    Few divorcing couples want to end up in court, which is why mediation and arbitration are faster and more effective...

    Read more
  18. husband signing decree of divorce
    11.4.2022

    Financial Dispute Resolution (FDR) for Divorce

    What is FDR for Divorce? Traditionally, a divorce financial settlement is dealt with by mutual agreement between the parties or...

    Read more
  19. family in poppy field
    18.1.2022

    6 cases that shape a private children dispute

    Family disputes involving children can be particularly emotive, which is why our expert children lawyers work tirelessly to understand how...

    Read more
  20. Unhappy Couple
    9.12.2021

    Are irreconcilable differences grounds for divorce?

    If you have come across this article, it may have resulted from an online search to see if you and...

    Read more
  21. Twitter app
    9.11.2021

    Keeping social media out of divorce proceedings

    We’ve recently seen the playing out on Twitter and Instagram of the high-profile separation of actor Ioan Gruffudd and...

    Read more
  22. 9.11.2021

    Case Law for Fair Divorce Settlements

    Cases that shape a ‘fair’ divorce settlement Part of what makes our divorce lawyers experts in their field is knowing...

    Read more
  23. father and children
    10.8.2021

    Child Maintenance: When is capital, income?

    Reading a recent case from the Child Maintenance Tribunal, I considered it worth flagging up that the Child Maintenance Rules...

    Read more
  24. lady
    27.4.2021

    Divorce in your 60s – The Financial Implications

    How common is a divorce in your 60s? The latest divorce figures from the Office of National Statistics (ONS) show...

    Read more

VIEW ALL