Are irreconcilable differences grounds for divorce?

Contact
Table of Contents
If you have searched for “irreconcilable differences”, you have probably heard the phrase used about a marriage that has broken down and want to know what it actually means. You may also be wondering whether irreconcilable differences are grounds for divorce in England and Wales.
The short answer is that there is no legal definition of irreconcilable differences here, and the phrase is not itself a ground for divorce. That does not leave you stuck, though. Since 6 April 2022 you no longer need to prove fault of any kind to end your marriage, so a couple who have simply grown apart can divorce without blaming anyone.
This article explains what the phrase means, why it has no legal status in this country, and how divorce actually works now under the no-fault system.
What does “irreconcilable differences” mean?
In everyday terms, irreconcilable differences means a couple can no longer resolve their disagreements and feel the marriage cannot continue. Those differences might be about money, how the children should be raised, lifestyle, or simply growing into different people over time. Left unresolved, they build resentment and make the relationship difficult to sustain.
The phrase is used far more widely in other countries, particularly in parts of the United States, where couples cite irreconcilable differences on their divorce papers as a neutral reason that avoids assigning blame. It is easy to see the appeal of a no-fault, no-finger-pointing label. In England and Wales, though, it is not a term our courts use, and you will not find it on a divorce application.
Are irreconcilable differences grounds for divorce in England and Wales?
No. You cannot get divorced “on the grounds of irreconcilable differences” in England and Wales, because the concept does not exist in our law. There is no legal test for it and no box to tick.
The good news is that you no longer need it. Under the no-fault divorce system, you do not have to give a specific reason or prove that anyone did anything wrong. So while “irreconcilable differences” is not a ground for divorce, the practical outcome people associate with it, ending a marriage amicably and without blame, is exactly what the current law allows.
What is the difference between irreconcilable differences and irretrievable breakdown?
This is where the confusion usually comes from. “Irreconcilable differences” is an informal, everyday phrase. “Irretrievable breakdown” is the actual legal test used in England and Wales.
To divorce here, you confirm that your marriage has broken down irretrievably. That single statement is all the court needs. You might privately describe the cause as irreconcilable differences, but legally it is the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage that matters, not the reason behind it. One is how people talk about their relationship. The other is the legal threshold for a divorce.
What reasons do you need for divorce now?
Very few. To obtain a divorce in England and Wales you only need to confirm that your marriage has broken down irretrievably. Under the Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020, which introduced no-fault divorce, that statement is the only thing the court requires.
You do not have to prove adultery, unreasonable behaviour, desertion or a period of separation. Those old requirements, often called the “five facts”, were abolished in April 2022. In almost every case your spouse cannot contest the divorce, and you can either apply on your own or, if you both agree, make a joint application.
Does your spouse’s behaviour still matter?
Until April 2022, many couples had to rely on “unreasonable behaviour” to divorce, setting out examples of their spouse’s conduct in the divorce papers. That requirement has gone. You no longer need to describe or prove anyone’s behaviour to end a marriage, which removes one of the most common sources of conflict at the very start of the process.
A spouse’s conduct can still be relevant in limited situations, mainly when the court divides the finances, but only in exceptional cases and in a very different way from the old behaviour-based divorce. If you are worried that your former partner’s actions should affect the outcome, one of our solicitors can tell you whether conduct is likely to make any practical difference in your circumstances.
How can you get an amicable divorce?
If you came to this article hoping that citing irreconcilable differences would give you an amicable route out of marriage, the no-fault process is designed to do exactly that. Because no one has to be blamed, it is far easier to keep things constructive from the outset.
An amicable divorce means you agree on what happens to the children, the property and the finances, as well as on how the divorce itself will proceed. Even after a difficult separation, that is still achievable, and it tends to be quicker and less expensive. It helps to focus on the outcome you want rather than getting drawn into smaller battles that have little bearing on the final result but can drag the process out and increase costs.
We can open a dialogue with your former spouse and their lawyer and try to reach an early agreement on the issues that matter most to you both. Depending on your circumstances, we may suggest a form of mediation to help, or you may already have settled many points directly.
Once an agreement is reached, we can make a financial settlement legally binding by having it approved by the court as a consent order. For the arrangements for your children, you may need a parenting plan or, if matters cannot be settled, a Child Arrangements Order from the court. We try to keep families out of court wherever possible, although, unlike financial matters, the court does not formally approve agreements about children.
How we can help
Our team of divorce lawyers in London advises clients on every aspect of divorce and financial separation, from straightforward no-fault applications to cases involving UK and overseas pensions. If you are outside London or based abroad, we offer video conferencing and a full online service so you stay up to date on your case and your options.
Lisa Pepper is a partner in our family law team specialising in divorce, finances and children matters, and is an accredited mediator. She is ranked as a leading lawyer in Chambers UK, Chambers HNW, The Legal 500, Spear’s and Tatler Advisory.
Call us on 020 7485 8811 or fill in the contact form below.
Share this article

“Osbornes Law offers affluent clients representation in high-value, complex family matters.”

“Osbornes have a first-class family law team providing an excellent service for their loyal clients.”
FAQ
What does "irreconcilable differences" mean?
It means a couple can no longer resolve their disagreements and feel the marriage cannot continue. There is no legal definition of the term in England and Wales. It is an everyday phrase rather than a legal one.
Are irreconcilable differences grounds for divorce in England and Wales?
No. You cannot divorce “on the grounds of irreconcilable differences” here, because the concept is not part of our law. Since April 2022 you no longer need grounds at all, only a statement that the marriage has broken down irretrievably.
What is the difference between irreconcilable differences and irretrievable breakdown?
“Irreconcilable differences” is an informal way of describing why a relationship has ended. “Irretrievable breakdown” is the legal test in England and Wales. To divorce, you confirm that your marriage has broken down irretrievably, and you do not have to explain why.
Can irreconcilable differences be used to prove unreasonable behaviour?
This is no longer relevant. Until April 2022, some couples relied on unreasonable behaviour to divorce, but that requirement has been abolished. You no longer need to describe or prove any behaviour to end your marriage.
Is "irreconcilable differences" used on UK divorce papers?
No. A divorce application in England and Wales does not ask for a reason. You simply confirm that the marriage has broken down irretrievably, so there is no place to record irreconcilable differences or any other cause.
Lisa Pepper – one of the best mediators around, whose very reasonable rates don’t reflect her excellent client base
Lisa Pepper is a great go-to solicitor for anyone wanting quick and appropriate advice
Lisa Pepper at Osbornes is hugely approachable. She is calm, clients always praise her. Underneath her calm and approachable exterior is an excellent legal brain
I am confident that Lisa will do her utmost to try and settle matters so that both parties walk away feeling satisfied that they have managed to reach a fair outcome with the assistance of a professional mediator.
Lisa Pepper is robust, competent and knowledgeable and is always keen to try and help parties settle without intervention of the court.
Lisa Pepper is an outstanding mediator. She gets results in very difficult cases. She works extremely hard to get a good outcome for clients who mediate with her
Lisa Pepper- she has a great combination of skills. She is empathetic, approachable and calm, and has good legal judgment. She inspires confidence and trust
"Lisa Pepper is good at making herself available to clients and has a real focus on finding pragmatic solutions."
"Lisa Pepper is a complete all rounder. Her mediation skills are second to none. She is kind and compassionate and knows the law inside out!."
"Lisa Pepper is ‘compassionate, supportive and committed to hear clients, with a very warm manner."
"Lisa Pepper is fantastic. She goes the extra mile for her clients and is a superb mediator."
"Osbornes has a hugely experienced mediation team with Andrew Watson, Bridget Thompson and Lisa Pepper who are able to offer financial and children mediation for a range of cases including those that are highly complex involving challenging clients."
"Lisa Pepper is fantastic with people and generates calm in her meetings to help clients give of their best."
I can’t think of anyone who would handle a mediation better than Lisa.
Lisa Pepper is extremely hard-working and adored by her clients. She is a very empathetic and approachable lawyer.
"She has a good way of talking to clients in an empathetic way and is also a highly recommended mediator."
"One of the most amiable, friendly and talented lawyers in London... she has impressed me as someone who fights my corner but also understands the importance of resolving issues without unnecessary escalation. She is calm and reassuring."
Lisa Pepper is the stand out performer of the practice. She is pragmatic and straightforward to deal with – committed to the good outcome for the family
Lisa Pepper is outstanding and highly approachable and effective. She has a lovely manner that brings out the best in clients.
Osbornes has a strong mediation team led by Lisa Pepper. Lisa is a very experienced mediator who often places clients at ease and allows them to discuss very difficult topics. She is empathetic but knows when to be more directive if the clients require.
Lisa Pepper is one of our go-to mediators. She provides a practical service, supporting clients to conclusion.
Lisa Pepper’s mediation practice is absolutely brilliant. Real value delivered with expert knowledge. Lisa is a first rate mediator.
Lisa Pepper is one of my go to mediators. Her calm, collected attitude and friendly persona allow clients to trust her and open up to her. Excellent service and top level advice.
Lisa Pepper is a talented lawyer and we regularly refer to her for mediation
"Lisa Pepper was recommended to me as non-nonsense and able to help me with a difficult and confrontational divorce. She more than lived up to that – she was practical, collected and always available with a clear opinion and suggestions of how to move forwards. She also was open and helpful about costs and how to mitigate them"
"Lisa Pepper is an outstanding mediator. She is very skilled and has an empathetic and professional approach which is comforting for clients. She never imposes her own view but is even handed and provides helpful guidance to clients so that they can make empowered decisions"
"Lisa Pepper has built up a very impressive mediation practice. She is very engaging and easy to relate to. She embodies mediation in the sense that she approaches her case in a very non-judgmental fashion and can quickly gain the confidence of those with whom she is mediating"
"Lisa Pepper is a brilliant mediator who produces results. She is effective at resolving matters without the need for the parties to engage in expensive and protracted litigation"
"Lisa Pepper is a fantastic mediator. She is fair, robust when she needs to be, and finds a way of facilitating agreements in the hardest of cases. Her guidance is spot on. She has an approachable and constructive mediation style"
"She has impressed me as someone who fights my corner but also understands the importance of resolving issues without unnecessary escalation. She is calm and reassuring."
"Her mediation practice is exceptional; she is also a great solicitor and has a breadth of skill which is really useful."
Lisa Pepper is extremely approachable and this shines through in the outcomes she achieves from mediation. She makes clients feel at ease, which enables them to feel empowered to resolve matters amicably and find a creative outcome which many mediators may have overlooked.
Lisa Pepper is building a very strong mediation practice at very competitive rates and is able to build a rapport quickly with almost anyone.
Lisa Pepper loves her work and has a very sensible head on her. That means her practice is thriving and rightly so.
Lisa Pepper is very thorough in her preparation and has super personal skills to put parties in mediation at ease
Lisa Pepper – good litigator, very friendly and approachable but tough, “straight bat” with the opposition. Can steer a client deftly to settle when he should.
Lisa Pepper gave me clear, level-headed and sensible advice during her handling of my divorce, and she demonstrated excellent understanding of the relevant law. She was on my side but fair and pragmatic, and her advice was always given with an eye to what was both equitable and achievable, and in line with the collaborative approach I’d wanted.
Lisa Pepper is particularly recognised for her role as a mediator in complex cross-border disputes. Her practice also includes handling prenuptial agreements and issues arising from the dissolution of civil partnerships.
"Lisa Pepper is "caring and considerate of the issues behind a matter, and will speak directly if she feels clients need that advice."
"The very personable and client-focused Lisa Pepper."
"Lisa Pepper somehow manages to get parties to settle on matters where there isn’t much hope to start out with."
"Lisa can handle the large and complicated cases but takes equal care with the smaller cases. She is a highly skilled mediator who is a consummate professional."
Lisa Pepper is a skilled collaborative lawyer. Her instinct is always to resolve matters without compromising her clients’ interests.
Lisa Pepper is always looking for a solution and has a very sympathetic approach to clients. She is highly regarded for her collaborative law practice.
Lisa Pepper deals with separation proceedings and leave to remove cases. Sources describe her as "a great person to work with: constructive, helpful and always infectiously happy.
Insights from Lisa PepperVIEW ALL
- 8.12.2025
Financial Claim 20 Years After Divorce Fails
Financial claim 20 years after divorce fails due to settlement agreement and lengthy delay The Family team at Osbornes Law advises...
Read more - 31.10.2025
Who Are McKenzie Friends in the Family Court?
McKenzie Friends explained: what they can and cannot do in Court We always recommend that you instruct a qualified family...
Read more - 4.2.2025
Expensive Purchases in Prenups: Joint or Sole Property?
Prenuptial agreements: are expensive purchases joint or sole property? The experienced family lawyers at Osbornes Law advise wealthy and high...
Read more - 23.1.2025
Contempt of Court: Law Commission’s Reform Proposals
Reforming Contempt of Court: Law Commission’s Proposals The Law Commission had been tasked by the Government to review the...
Read more - 5.8.2024
Why Did Lauryn Goodman Take Kyle Walker to...
Introduction to the case After a judge took the unusual step of making his judgement public, we’re starting to...
Read more - 11.7.2024
Unmarried With Children and Splitting Up
Unmarried with Children? What are your Financial Rights? Know Your Financial Rights Under Schedule One Children Act 1989 A claim under...
Read more - 17.6.2024
What is Early Neutral Evaluation?
Early Neutral Evaluation (ENE) is a form of Non-Court Dispute Resolution where the separated couple invites a neutral third party...
Read more - 14.6.2024
What Happens If You Have a Joint Mortgage...
Understanding whether you can keep a joint mortgage after divorce is crucial, especially if both parties are still liable for...
Read more - 28.5.2024
Short-term marriage divorce settlements
A Marriage is a Marriage — Even if it’s short and childless When deciding who gets what in a divorce,...
Read more - 13.5.2024
Impact of extended family wealth on divorce
Can the wealth of extended family affect your divorce outcomes? While there is no fundamental legal difference between a high-net-worth...
Read more - 16.4.2024
NCDR Rules Guide Couples Away From Court
What is Non-Court Dispute Resolution (NCDR)? NCDR is the current buzz word in the family law world, following recent rule...
Read more - 14.12.2023
Parental alienation: A legal overview
Sometimes, a child may turn against one of their parents due to the other parent’s manipulation or influence. This...
Read more - 4.12.2023
My spouse is going bankrupt. Will it affect...
Divorce and Bankruptcy In 2022, more than 1 in 10 businesses reported a moderate-to-severe risk of insolvency. More than one in five (22%) of...
Read more - 29.11.2023
What is a Separation Agreement?
Introduction to separation agreements A separation agreement is a document that can be prepared when you want to stop living...
Read more - 23.11.2023
What is Coercive Control?
Coercive Control Law Domestic abuse comes in many forms and it isn’t always physical. When it involves a campaign...
Read more - 16.8.2023
Child Maintenance for High Earners
How much should be paid? When separating or divorcing parents cannot agree the amount of child maintenance to be paid, (...
Read more - 28.6.2023
Why It Is Important to Involve First Class...
Prenups have historically have a bad reputation, but they are starting to lose the negative stigma and are now common...
Read more - 22.3.2023
Cohabitation Agreements
Unmarried couples who live together do not have the same legal protection as married couples and civil partners when they...
Read more - 7.12.2022
IR v OR: Judge Dismisses Pre-Nup in Landmark £184...
One of the reasons I am still passionate about family law, after 20 years in the field, is that it is...
Read more - 30.8.2022
Do You Have To Go To Court For...
Can you get a divorce without going to court? Yes you can, in fact, one of the reasons that no...
Read more - 12.4.2022
Mediation or Arbitration: What’s best for my...
Is arbitration or mediation better in a divorce? Few divorcing couples want to end up in court, which is why...
Read more - 11.3.2021
Financial responsibilities of father on divorce
What are the financial responsibilities of a father for a child? The period drama Bridgerton, the runaway success of the...
Read more - 5.3.2021
Can you challenge a prenuptial agreement?
Can a prenup be overturned? Prenuptial agreements are a useful way for couples to agree in advance how their finances...
Read more - 25.3.2019
Financial Rights of Cohabiting Couples: Case Law
Introduction to Gow v Grant [2012] UKSC 29 Gow v Grant [2012] UKSC 29 is a decision of the Supreme Court dealing with the...
Read more
























