Surrogacy & Social Media: A Cautionary Tale
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Tom Trim
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Surrogacy and social media: a warning for intended parents
The family law team at Osbornes Law represents clients in domestic and international surrogacy and adoption cases.
Time and again, court disputes illustrate how surrogacy can so often be fraught with problems, leading to delays, distress, legal uncertainty and added legal costs.
A High Court judge described a recent case as “a cautionary tale of what can go wrong when strangers who meet through social media to bring a child into this world through surrogacy and when one or more of the parties take risks around the circumstances of conception”.
Tom Trim, Senior Associate in the family team at Osbornes Law acted for the paternal grandmother in this case, which was hampered by deception and procedural irregularities.
What’s the background?
The child in Re: J (A child) (Surrogacy: Adoption Order) [2025] EWHC 2960 (Fam) was, at the time of the hearing, 2½ years old. Mr and Mrs P married in 2019 and had tried unsuccessfully to conceive.
In 2021, they entered into an informal surrogacy arrangement with T, who they met via a Facebook surrogacy group. The court found that Mr and Mrs P were aware that Ms T continued to date men and ought to have been aware that there was a risk that Ms T was sexually active.
The child (J) was born in February 2023 and Mr P was named on the birth certificate as the father. In May 2023, the couple applied for a Parental Order under the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Act 2008. To secure such an order, they had to prove Mr P was the biological father.
Paternity
The surrogacy agreement stated that T “must abstain from sexual intercourse from time of agreement until pregnancy is confirmed”. However, Mr and Mrs P claimed that just after the insemination, T had unprotected sexual intercourse. She denied this but the couple continued to question J’s paternity.
Mr and Mrs P were advised that a DNA test was needed. They chose a ‘Peace of Mind’ test from NorthGene which stated that Mr P was J’s biological father. However, it was not a court-approved test; and the court ordered that either CAFCASS pay for a new test or that the couple arrange for another test with samples from Mr P and J. No further DNA test was carried out.
As time went on, J’s complexion became darker and it became apparent Mr P was unlikely to be the biological father. Mr and Mrs P applied to withdraw their application for a Parental Order and then applied for an adoption order.
In July 2025, the paternal grandmother – who had been funding the majority of the surrogacy arrangement – was given permission to intervene in proceedings. The following month, she admitted that she had provided a DNA sample that was tested in July 2023, instead of submitting a sample taken from J.
In summary, the judge concluded that:
- Ms T had unprotected sex in breach of the surrogacy agreement shortly after the insemination on/around 31 May 2022. Ms T told Mr and Mrs P that she had engaged in protected sex and so they were aware that there was a risk that the baby was not Mr P’s biological child.
- Following J’s birth, as J grew older their complexion grew darker and it became obvious that J was a mixed-race child.
- By the time Mr and Mrs P applied for a parental order in May 2023, they had real doubts about J’s paternity,
- By the time samples were taken for the ‘Peace of Mind’ test, Mr and Mrs P and the paternal grandmother knew that it was highly unlikely that Mr P was J’s biological father.
- Mr and Mrs P were terrified of losing J and feared J being removed from their care if J was not Mr P’s biological child. Mr and Mrs P also feared that Ms T could withdraw consent to the court making an adoption order or placement order.
- Mr and Mrs P opted for the Peace of Mind report because there would be no independent observation of the sample collection (not because it was cheaper as had been suggested by Mr and Mrs P)
- Mrs P edited the Peace of Mind results, removing signs that they were not to be used for legal purposes, and Mr and Mrs P submitted it to the court in order to mislead the court and the Guardian.
- Its conclusion that Mr P was J’s biological father was not a mistake on the part of NorthGene – the swabs had come from Mr P and his mother (not J). The court found that Mr P had seen his mother provide a sample and that he knew that the report was a sham. The court also found that the grandmother did not reveal that Mr P had seen her provide a sample in order to protect him. The court accepted that Mrs P was not present when the sample was taken but this was in order to distance herself from the deceitful actions.
Adoption
The Judge was critical of Mr and Mrs P’s conduct and deceit; and the Judge took this into account when considering the impact of their lies on the welfare decision the court would make for J. The Judge concluded that an adoption order should be made on the following basis:
- Ms T had freely and unconditionally consented to J’s adoption
- J’s paternity was likely to remain unknown given Ms T’s refusal to give any information about the biological father
- Mr and Mrs P’s lies and deceits went to the heart of J’s identity. Had the court not questioned the DNA report, J would have gone through life believing that Mr P was the biological father, and the birth certificate would have been incorrect. The harm—and the risk of further harm—had this not been uncovered is psychological and emotional harm to J from not knowing their true identity.
- Any future risk was mitigated by the making of an adoption order, which secured J’s permanent place in Mr and Mrs P’s family. They have been J’s psychological parents since birth and were more than able to meet the J’s physical, emotional and psychological needs.
- An adoption order would meet J’s lifelong interests and gives them a legal status that reflects their reality.
However, the judge made clear she was not condoning the parties’ conduct. The Judge warned: “It is about how lies and trying to deceive the court solves nothing. Indeed, it is about how lies and deceitful acts prolongs the legal process and causes distress, anxiety and uncertainty for all concerned”.
How we can help
Surrogacy and adoption cases can be complex, emotionally charged, and legally challenging. This case is a stark reminder of the importance of transparency and expert guidance throughout the process. At Osbornes Law, our specialist family law team has extensive experience in domestic and international surrogacy and adoption matters. If you are considering surrogacy or adoption, or need expert advice on a related dispute, please contact us by:
- Filling in our online enquiry form; or
- Calling us on 020 7485 8811
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