Your Guide to Creating a Parenting Plan

Lisa Pepper

A well-written parenting plan can help separated parents reduce conflict whilst putting children’s needs first.

When parents divorce or separate, their biggest concern is ensuring their children continue to receive love, support and stability from both sides of the family. Establishing clear arrangements for your child’s care can make an enormous difference to their well-being during this time, when emotions may be running high.

This guide explains the main parts of a Parenting Plan and helps you design one that supports your child and family.

What is a parenting plan? (Also known as a Parenting Agreement)

A parenting plan is a written agreement that outlines the practical arrangements of caring for children. Parents agree what it will cover – that is ordinarily key aspects of parenting, including the child’s living arrangements, education, and their daily routines.

Having a plan is really useful because it encourages parents to focus on their children’s needs rather than their own disagreements. It puts in place a clear structure that everyone can refer to, even as your family circumstances change.

Unlike court orders, parenting plans are voluntary arrangements that parents create together. Agreeing collaboratively on a plan can save time and money. If you are able to agree matters, it means you can avoid going to court to litigate the child arrangements. In this his way, the parents retain the decision-making, reflecting their parental responsibility (see below), rather than facing the risks of having arrangements imposed that neither parent is 100 percent happy with.

Re Z, the model for shared parenting plans

The Children Act 1989 provides the foundation for all decisions about children in England and Wales. The Act introduced the concept of parental responsibility, and established that a child’s welfare is the primary consideration in arrangements relating to children.

However, it took some time for thinking to shift away from an adversarial, parent-centred approach towards the child-centred arrangements that we have today. One of the leading cases in this area is the 2006 decision in Re Z.

Re Z concerned divorced parents with a long history of animosity and litigation, including allegations of child abduction. Despite this, and with the help of respective legal teams, the parents agreed a plan to share the child’s care 50-50, alternating weeks, without the need for a court order.

The agreement was considered groundbreaking at the time – Judges once thought 50-50 plans were possible only in the most amicable divorces. The court endorsed the Re Z parenting plan as a model of what could be achieved, even when the parents were barely on speaking terms.

The first schedule of the Re Z template establishes comprehensive arrangements covering everything from term-time schedules to holiday planning and passport arrangements. Importantly, it emphasises that both parents must “respect the fact that they have and will continue to have a joint and equal parental responsibility for the child.”

The second schedule focuses on children’s rights and needs. It recognises that children need honest, age-appropriate answers about changing family relationships, and asks parents to ensure that children aren’t put in the middle or asked to play one parent off against the other.

You can read the full template at the end of this blog.

Modern plans and the Cafcass framework

Cafcass, the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service, advises the family court about the welfare of children and what is in the children’s best interest. It has developed comprehensive resources to help parents create effective Parenting Plans, including both online interactive tools and downloadable templates.

The Cafcass guides walk parents through a series of questions to help them create a clear and structured plan.

The plan can be as simple or as detailed as you like, though you’ll need to review a more complex agreement more regularly. Most plans include the following key components:

Living arrangements – Where your child will live day-to-day, including how time will be divided between households, e.g. 7 out of 14 nights with each parent (shared care, like in Re Z) or 10 with one parent and 4 with the other (unequal care). A good place to start the discussions is to look at overnights.

Visitation (often referred to as ‘contact’/’spend time with’) and communication – Where it is agreed that the overnights are not shared equally and follow a more traditional arrangement of the child having a “base” during the term-time school week, the plan would include when the child will visit the other parent and how they will stay in touch with them between visits. The plan can specify a minimum frequency for ‘phone or video calls and other messaging to help the child maintain consistent emotional bonds with both parents.

Education and extracurriculars – Decisions about schooling, homework routines, parents’ roles in communication with teachers, and how future school choices will be made. After-school activities often require flexibility from both parents, and parents will need to think about drop offs, pick ups and their impact on family routines. It is generally accepted that it is of benefit for the child that both parents are involved in their school life and school community and therefore being on WhatsApp groups and doing a school pick-up/drop off, even in the more traditional arrangement mentioned above, is generally considered better for the child.

Health care – Who will be responsible for making and attending medical and dental appointments, parental consent for treatment, and agreement on sharing important health information. The plan will need to consider emergency arrangements, including who to contact, when and how, and when to notify each other.

Religious and cultural issues – In shared-faith families, the plan should include agreements on religious upbringing, participation in rituals and celebrations, and any cultural or dietary practices, to ensure children can develop a clear and consistent sense of identity.

Holidays and special occasions – Plans for dividing holidays, birthdays and religious or cultural events, so children can spend meaningful time with both families. Holiday arrangements often become flashpoints if not dealt with in advance.

Communication between parents – How and when parents will communicate about their child’s needs (phone, email, apps, in person etc) including the process for discussing major changes, such as new partners or moving house.

Financial responsibilities – The point below about the non-binding nature of a Parenting Plan is important to note when it comes to financial provision for the child. Child maintenance is handled separately, and is often included in a Court order. This can include not only child maintenance but incidental costs such as school lunches, school trips, uniforms, and extracurricular activities. These can also be included in a parenting agreement but are not enforceable. However it may be that the parents trust each other to keep to an agreed arrangement as to what they consider is a fair contribution to their child’s upbringing. If in doubt however, it is recommended that financial commitments to the child are dealt with separately, so that the parenting plan focuses on the other aspects of parenting discussed here.

Changes to the plan and conflict resolution – Children’s needs change, and the plan needs to reflect this. A regular review of the plan needs to be included, perhaps annually, so it keeps up with the needs of growing children. Dispute resolution mechanisms should also be in place, such as agreeing to mediation.

What if we can’t agree?

Many parents benefit from professional assistance when creating Parenting Plans.

Family mediation can help parents work through disagreements and reach a plan that works for everyone. Mediators are trained professionals who remain neutral whilst helping parents focus on their children’s needs rather than their own conflicts.

The family court actively encourages non-court dispute resolution solutions through schemes like “Planning Together for Children.” These programmes offer online learning and group workshops to help parents build a co-parenting relationship.

Not all families are suitable for collaborative parenting arrangements. Sometimes, working together isn’t safe or possible, for example, where there has been domestic abuse or drug or alcohol problems. In those cases, legal advice should be sought to consider supervised contact or court protections.

Are parenting plans legally binding?

Parenting plans (parenting agreements) are voluntary arrangements. They work best when they are flexible and updated regularly to take into account the child’s changing needs.

They are not legally binding but can be used as evidence of a prior agreed arrangement, should you end up in court on children matters, further down the line if your co-parenting relationship breaks down. Discussing a parenting plan with your ex also flushes out whether you are going to be able to settle child arrangements between yourselves or if you need to consider NCDR (Mediation, Arbitration or Early Neutral Evaluation – ‘ENE’) to help you resolve matters.

If you are considering making a parenting plan legally binding, it is a good idea to speak to a solicitor first. They can discuss the pros and cons and help you draft the paperwork.

Let Osbornes Law simplify parenting plans for you

Creating a healthy environment that supports your child’s growth and happiness is the heart of any parenting plan. Their needs must come first, which is why writing a thorough plan and sticking to it is so important.

Cafcass resources give parents a great starting point for creating plans that truly serve their children’s best interests. However, every family situation is different and sometimes you need expert guidance to get arrangements right. At Osbornes Law, our family solicitors can help you set up or review a Parenting Plan that fits your situation. We focus on what is best for your child while working around the practical realities of your family life. To speak with one of our solicitors:

• Fill in our online enquiry form; or
• Call us on 020 7485 8811.

Re Z (Shared Parenting Plan: Publicity) [2006] 1 FLR 405

First schedule

The shared parenting plan for the child.

The mother and father both:

(a) Respect the fact that they have and will continue to have a joint and equal parental responsibility for the child.

(b) Acknowledge that the child has been looked after by them jointly under a “shared care” arrangement.

(c) Recognise the importance of these “shared care” arrangements continuing and commit themselves accordingly to such arrangements throughout the child’s childhood.

(d) Support the principle that the child shall spent time approximately equally in both homes.

(e) Understand the need for agreeing times, dates and dates as early in advance as possible when the child is to spend time with them during school holidays to include half term holidays.

(f) Agree that during term time the father will collect the child on………..until the following …….[when he shall take the child back to school]. The balance of the child’s time being spent with the child’s mother. The parents both agree to keep these arrangements under review.

(g) Agree that the school holidays, to include half term holidays, will involve the child sharing the child’s time as near equally as possible between their respective homes with times, days and dates of collection and delivery being agreed as early in advance as possible.

(h) Agree to share the arrangements for the collection and delivery of the child between homes.

(i) Have decided that when the child is spending time with one parent, the other will encourage the child to telephone that parent at a reasonable frequency being some two to three days [or as otherwise agreed]

(j) Acknowledge that as matters stand the child should stay at his/her present school. If either parent wishes to consider a change of school then he/she will, for the child’s benefit, enter into a constructive discussion of the matter with the other parent with a view to forming a consensual position.

(k) Agree that unless specifically required for the purposes of travel abroad the mother/father will retain the child’s passport, the same to be delivered to the other following each and every holiday that he/she may take abroad with the child.

(l) Acknowledge the need to share as equally as possible any incidental costs/extras arising as a result of the child’s school attendance and shall do so in the spirit of open and efficient exchange of information as to such costs/extras.

(m) Recognise the need for flexibility in the above arrangements for shared care such that any agreed variation in the time spent with one parent is properly compensated.

(n) Appreciate the importance of the child’s Guardian [CAFCASS] making a farewell visit to the child to explain this parenting plan and the agreement reached, the Court endorsing the importance of this from the child’s point of view.

Second schedule

• The knowledge that the child’s parents’ reason to divorce is not the child’s responsibility and that the child will be parented equally.
• Treatment as an important person with unique feelings, ideas and desires and not the source of arguments between parties.
• A continuing relationship with both parents and freedom to receive love from and express love for both parents.
• The expression of love and affection for each parent without having to stifle that love because of fear of disapproval by the other parent.
• Continuing care and guidance from both the child’s parents.
• Being given honest age appropriate answers about changing family relationships.
• The knowledge and appreciation of what is good in each parent without denigrating the other.
• A relaxed and secure relationship with both parents without being placed in a position to manipulate one against the other.
• Being able to experience regular and equal shared parenting and know the reason for any future cancellations or curtailment to the child’s normal pattern of living with both parents.’