The 6 Most Common Reasons Couples Get Divorced

2 Jan 2018 | Lisa Pepper

Following the UK’s transition to a no-fault divorce system, couples no longer need to identify a particular wrongdoing as a ground to end their marriage legally.

But while the legal divorce process may be simpler, the decision to go through with it is as difficult and complex as ever. Couples may decide to end their marriage for many reasons, whether they’ve experienced a one-time major betrayal like an affair or a gradual erosion of the relationship over time. Often, it’s a combination of factors that causes couples to drift apart.

Here are six of the most commonly cited reasons why people separate.

1. Infidelity

Unfaithfulness is a leading cause of divorce, whether through physical or emotional betrayal. When one partner discovers that their spouse has engaged in an emotional or sexual relationship with someone else, trust and respect can be irrevocably damaged.

Even if the straying partner apologises and begs for forgiveness, the betrayed partner may be unable to move past the act. That’s why adultery was the second most cited ground for divorce (after unreasonable behaviour) that you could use to show that your marriage had irretrievably broken down.

2. Lack of connection and commitment

While a thousand romantic comedies are built on the idea that opposites attract, in reality, couples need to feel they have something in common with their partner and are truly committed to having a happy, healthy marriage. There needs to be a “meeting of minds” for couples to stay together and put effort into the relationship.

Differences easily overlooked in the first flush of romantic passion can become more pronounced over time. If couples don’t do the work and find ways to bridge their differences, the bond between them can quickly deteriorate. One large-scale U.S. survey found that a staggering 73.2% of divorcing couples identified a lack of commitment as the main cause of their marital breakdown.

3. Money trouble

Around one in 10 couples split due to rows about money. But it’s not money trouble that pushes couples towards the divorce courts – it’s that couples have different ideas about managing the family’s finances. For example, one partner may be irresponsible with money and spend beyond their means, while the other prefers to save for a rainy day. Or one partner may be trying to control their spouse’s spending habits.

Different perspectives on finance aren’t usually a problem when a couple has financial stability. But the value difference can become more apparent if they face financial difficulties. Financial incompatibilities can also complicate negotiating financial settlements in divorce, making it crucial for couples to seek expert legal advice.

4. Poor communication

Poor communication comes in all shapes and sizes from constant arguing to sweeping problems under the rug to flat-out lying. But it all has the same result: couples who don’t talk to each other will find their relationship deteriorating quickly.

Communication is one of those issues that has cascading consequences. It can give rise to feelings of incompatibility, neglect, bitterness and resentment that can become overwhelming if left unchecked. Sometimes, couples can work on their communication problems and develop a healthy relationship again. In others, the lack of communication can be so severe that divorce becomes the only solution.

Where communication has deteriorated to a point of no return, couples may find mediation a useful tool in divorce negotiations.

5. Growing apart

Couples who have been together for many years can find themselves becoming more like strangers as they drift apart from each other. People change, and the activities and interests they once shared no longer hold a place in their lives, leaving them feeling lonely, sad or disconnected.

The process of children growing up and leaving the family home can often act as a catalyst for couples to assess the state of their relationship. This stage of life, called ’empty nest syndrome,’ leaves couples with abundant free time and a reduced set of parental obligations. Some couples embrace this time and reconnect on a deeper level. For others, it can amplify previously ignored pre-existing issues, leading many to realise that their relationship is not as strong as it once was.

6. Abuse

Abuse can take many forms and may include:

  • Domestic violence where one partner physically harms the other.
  • Emotional abuse where one partner belittles or criticises the other with hurtful words and actions.
  • Coercive control where one partner seeks to control the other by manipulating or restricting their behaviour.

These types of abuse can cause long-term psychological trauma, leaving the victim feeling scared, isolated and unable to trust their partner. In such cases, divorce could be the only way for victims to regain control of their lives and find safety and security.

In the old fault-based divorce system, any abuse would have been evidence of unreasonable behaviour to show that the marriage had irretrievably broken down.

Talk to a divorce solicitor.

If you and your partner are facing any of these issues in your marriage, it may be time to consider whether a divorce is the right decision. Our specialist divorce solicitors can help make the process as smooth and stress-free as possible, as well as signpost you to any additional resources that may be available. With the right support, you may be able to save your marriage and avoid going through a divorce.

Whatever decision you make, it’s important to get the right advice and support so you can move forward in the best way possible.

If you would like to discuss the situation further and get some free initial advice, contact us today. Our experienced solicitors are here to help.

Share this article

Contact

Contact us today

For a free initial conversation call 020 7485 8811

Email us Send us an email and we’ll get back to you






    Related InsightsVIEW ALL

    1. child maintenance
      16.8.2023

      High income parents – how much child maintenance should...

      When separating or divorcing parents cannot agree the amount of child maintenance to be paid, (in high income cases where...

      Read more
    2. 25.7.2023

      Family Dynamics: A Factor In Child Arrangements Cases

      In proceedings involving children, the parents should consider the impact their behaviour towards each other may have on how the...

      Read more
    3. rubber stamp
      23.6.2023

      Approving Consent Order In High Value Divorce Case...

      The case of Bogolyubov v Bogolyubov The best course of action for divorcing couples is to agree on a financial...

      Read more
    4. union jack
      23.3.2023

      Does Divorce Jurisdiction Matter?

      Is England/Wales the Right Jurisdiction for Your Divorce? When it comes to getting divorced, London has a lot of...

      Read more
    5. two people walking
      22.3.2023

      Breadwinner or homemaker in divorce. Does it matter?

      When agreeing on a financial settlement, does it matter if you’re a breadwinner or a homemaker? When it comes...

      Read more
    6. lady with two children
      22.3.2023

      What is Parental Responsibility?

      Understanding Parental Responsibility Parental responsibility is the legal term used to describe parents’ duties and responsibilities for their children. These...

      Read more
    7. couple holding hands
      16.3.2023

      Are trusts protected from divorce?

      Can trusts protect an inheritance from your spouse? A trust is a separate legal entity. Neither spouse owns its assets. ...

      Read more
    8. cube cafe camden
      16.3.2023

      Is a limited company protected from divorce?

      Is my spouse entitled to half of my business? If you are involved in running a limited company, then it...

      Read more
    9. man looking out
      16.3.2023

      How is a pension split in a divorce?

      Pensions and Divorce In a divorce, pensions are taken into account together with all other financial assets. Once all assets...

      Read more
    10. Camden house red door
      16.3.2023

      Who gets the house in a divorce?

      How is a house divided in a UK divorce? For most people thinking about getting a divorce, one of the...

      Read more
    11. Prenup agreement and gavel
      7.12.2022

      Judge ignores pre-nuptial agreement but factors in non-matrimonial...

      Case Law One of the reasons I am still passionate about family law, after 20 years in the field, is that...

      Read more
    12. Family divorce and division of propert
      6.10.2022

      How to set aside an order in financial...

      My ex-spouse didn’t tell the truth about their finances when we divorced, can anything be done? Can the financial...

      Read more
    13. pension pot
      30.8.2022

      Pension sharing on divorce

      What is the new procedure for pension sharing? Pensions are one of the biggest assets of a marriage, yet many...

      Read more
    14. door knocker
      30.8.2022

      What is a transfer of equity?

      Transfer of equity in divorce Transfer of equity refers to the process of transferring part or all of a property...

      Read more
    15. people holding cups
      30.8.2022

      Do You Have To Go To Court For...

      If your divorce is uncontested and there are no disputes over issues such as what happens to the marital home...

      Read more
    16. Two keys with splitted key ring
      22.8.2022

      Capital Gains Tax on Divorce

      Proposed Capital Gains Tax Rule Changes Could Reduce Stress for Divorcing Couples The government has proposed a number of changes...

      Read more
    17. woman hand open empty purse
      6.5.2022

      My ex has cut me off during divorce

      Can my spouse cut me off financially? Unfortunately, it is far too common that when a client says it’s...

      Read more
    18. Close up of african american man with calculator
      6.5.2022

      Divorce Loans

      How the Court views loans from parents during divorce A frequent issue in financial divorce cases is a loan from...

      Read more
    19. mesher order house
      5.5.2022

      Mesher Orders Explained

      What is a Mesher order? A Mesher Order allows the sale of the family home to be postponed in the...

      Read more
    20. husband signing decree of divorce
      11.4.2022

      Financial Dispute Resolution (FDR) for Divorce

      What is FDR for Divorce? Traditionally, a divorce financial settlement is dealt with by mutual agreement between the parties or...

      Read more
    21. Two rings on the background of the lgbt flag
      31.3.2022

      10 Interesting Facts About Same Sex Marriage and Divorce

      Eight years after same-sex marriage was written into law, we’re looking at these major life events by the numbers.  1....

      Read more
    22. signing contract
      28.2.2022

      Decree Nisi

      In England and Wales, there are three key stages to the divorce process:  The Divorce Petition The Decree Nisi The...

      Read more
    23. family in poppy field
      18.1.2022

      6 cases that shape a private children dispute

      Family disputes involving children can be particularly emotive, which is why our expert children lawyers work tirelessly to understand how...

      Read more
    24. Unhappy Couple
      9.12.2021

      Are irreconcilable differences grounds for divorce?

      If you have come across this article, it may have resulted from an online search to see if you and...

      Read more

    VIEW ALL