Divorce for Men Explained: Your Rights and Options
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What Men Need to Know About Divorce
Men and women have the same legal rights during divorce in England and Wales, yet many men still feel anxious about their rights and responsibilities. Knowing what to expect can make an enormous difference during this period of transition.
Despite what many people think, men and women have exactly the same divorce rights in the UK, and no legal advantage is given to either spouse. This means that:
- Both parties have the same entitlement to a fair division of assets
- Either may be awarded spousal maintenance
- There’s no automatic right for either party to keep the family home or other assets
- Both parents retain parental responsibility for their children
- Child arrangements, such as where the child lives, are based on the child’s best interests, not the parent’s gender
- Either party may need to pay child support
Each case is decided on its own facts, with many couples reaching their own agreements about what works best for their family. The court’s role is to reach an outcome that is fair to both parties and, above all else, in the best interests of any children involved.
The same rules apply whether your marriage is heterosexual or same‑sex.
Financial settlements and men’s entitlements
Dividing finances is one of the biggest sources of stress during divorce. Men often worry they will walk away with less than they put into the marriage, particularly if their ex has stayed at home while they have focused on their career. In truth, the law takes into account a wide range of contributions when deciding how to divide the matrimonial assets.
Dividing everything straight down the middle is the starting point, but it may not end that way. Divorce settlements are tailored to the reality of each family.
If you have a prenuptial agreement, it will guide your settlement negotiations. If you cannot reach an amicable agreement, a trained mediator can help both of you find common ground without needing to go straight to court.
If mediation fails or isn’t suitable, the court can step in and make a Financial Remedy Order. The court is guided by section 25 of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973, which requires it to consider factors such as:
- The age of both parties
- Length of the marriage
- Your standard of living during the marriage
- Property and assets available
- Each spouse’s current and future earning capacity
- Contributions to the family, whether through earnings or caring responsibilities
- The needs of any children, including housing and maintenance
The resulting financial settlement will look different from divorce to the next. For example, a young, childless couple where both spouses work are more likely to walk away with a clean break than an established family where adjustments must be made to secure the children’s housing and other needs.
It is important to have the support of an expert family lawyer during the financial negotiation process to help you agree a fair settlement.
Will I have to pay spousal maintenance?
While it is sometimes assumed that only husbands pay maintenance, the law allows for it in either direction. Payments travel from the financially stronger to the financial weaker spouse.
Based on the financial resources available, a clean break is often preferred. A clean break, with no ongoing payments, severs all financial ties between you and your ex-partner. If you do have to pay spousal maintenance, it is often for a limited time while your ex gets back on their feet.
Your rights to the family home
A common concern for men is whether they will lose the right to live in the marital home during the divorce process. Until the Final Order of divorce is granted (what used to be called a Decree Absolute), both spouses have the right to live in the property, regardless of whose name is on the deeds or tenancy.
This also means that financial responsibilities for the home, including mortgage payments, rent, bills and repairs, must continue to be shared until financial agreements are put in place. It’s important to keep up with these payments or you risk losing the home.
Moving out voluntarily does not mean you give up your legal rights to the property. However, you should always take legal advice before doing so to avoid weakening your position during settlement negotiations.
Aside from that, the family home is an asset like any other. Its value will be factored into the divorce settlement and, depending on your financial situation, you will have to decide whether selling it, transferring ownership, or one spouse buying out the other is the most practical option.
If you have children, it is common for the main caregiver to stay in the family home until the children finish their education, but this is not set in stone. A solicitor can explain your options, and you should carefully consider the children’s best interests when making a decision.
Fathers’ rights in divorce
One of the most persistent myths in family law is that fathers are treated less favourably when the court decides child arrangements. In fact, the law is not ‘anti-dad’ and does not prioritise mothers over fathers. Instead, it focuses entirely on the rights and welfare of the child.
If you are married to your child’s mother, you automatically have parental responsibility. That responsibility continues after divorce. The law sees children as having a right to a relationship with both parents, as long as it is safe, and will support arrangements that protect that bond. While practical factors such as work schedules and distance from the child’s school may affect how much time a child spends with each parent, there is no legal presumption that children should live with their mothers by default.
Ideally, decisions about where children live and when they spend time with each parent are agreed privately between parents. The court steps in only if negotiations and mediation break down, in the form of a Child Arrangements Order.
In making a Child Arrangements Order, the court will consider a wide range of factors, such as:
- Who takes care of the child day to day
- The child’s health, wellbeing and schooling needs
- Their current routine, including school and home life
- What the child wants, if they’re old enough to express it
- The money and resources available to each parent
- Any risks of harm to the child
- How a change in arrangements might affect them
Child maintenance is decided separately. There’s a statutory formula for calculating payments, and it’s payable to the parent who looks after the children most of the time. Men can receive child maintenance from their ex-wife if they are the primary caregiver, and there’s nothing to pay if you are both parenting equally.
How to protect yourself as a man in divorce
It is completely natural to feel angry, betrayed or defensive when going through divorce. Unfortunately, those emotions can make negotiations more difficult and expensive. By far the best thing you can do is communicate honestly and calmly with your ex. And listen: listen to your solicitor’s advice, but also listen carefully to your spouse. Not everything she says will be easy to hear, but keeping calm and respectful can prevent conflict escalating.
While the right solution will always depend on your situation, there are some other tips that can make the process easier:
- Get legal advice early so you understand exactly where you stand
- Be open about your finances and provide full disclosure
- Be honest about the type of relationship you want with your ex going forward
- Talk to your solicitor about seeking a clean break order, which ends financial ties between you and your ex forever, either now or at a predetermined future date
- Do everything you can to reach an agreement
- Always focus on what is best for your children
Get expert advice on divorce for men
If you’re thinking about divorce, it really helps to have a good family lawyer by your side. Our expert divorce lawyers will make sure your rights, and your children’s, are protected and we typically save you money in the long run.
To speak with one of our divorce lawyers, contact us by:
- Filling in our online enquiry form; or
- Calling us on 020 7485 8811
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“Osbornes handle a significant amount of complex, high-value divorce work.”
“The family law team at Osbornes is one of the strongest in London; across all areas of work from international cases, financial and children work, Osbornes is a market leader.”
Accreditations
Claire has client care skills in spades and she is understanding and empathetic whilst keeping a focus on the right strategy.
Claire Andrews is one of the best of the younger crop of partners in London.
Lisa's substantial insight into financial disputes involving high-net-worth individuals is where her skills lie.
Yael Selig is bilingual in Spanish and English. She is the go-to person for divorce cases involving Gibraltar particularly, or Spain.
Lisa pepper heads the Mediation team and she is often mediating for high-net-worth individuals in both financial and private children matters.
Lisa Pepper – one of the best mediators around, whose very reasonable rates don’t reflect her excellent client base
Lisa Pepper is a great go-to solicitor for anyone wanting quick and appropriate advice
Lisa Pepper at Osbornes is hugely approachable. She is calm, clients always praise her. Underneath her calm and approachable exterior is an excellent legal brain
I am confident that Lisa will do her utmost to try and settle matters so that both parties walk away feeling satisfied that they have managed to reach a fair outcome with the assistance of a professional mediator.
Lisa Pepper is robust, competent and knowledgeable and is always keen to try and help parties settle without intervention of the court.
Lisa Pepper is an outstanding mediator. She gets results in very difficult cases. She works extremely hard to get a good outcome for clients who mediate with her
Lisa Pepper- she has a great combination of skills. She is empathetic, approachable and calm, and has good legal judgment. She inspires confidence and trust
Lisa Pepper is particularly recognised for her role as a mediator in complex cross-border disputes. Her practice also includes handling prenuptial agreements and issues arising from divorces. She is additionally skilled in Schedule 1 and other child arrangement matters.
Mark Freedman frequently takes on high-value financial and children proceedings that involve complex tax, trust and accounting issues.
"Lisa Pepper is good at making herself available to clients and has a real focus on finding pragmatic solutions."
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"Osbornes has a hugely experienced mediation team with Andrew Watson, Bridget Thompson and Lisa Pepper who are able to offer financial and children mediation for a range of cases including those that are highly complex involving challenging clients."
"Andrew Watson is respected and tenacious in matrimonial finance. You would want him on your team."
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"David Leadercrammer is such an experienced wonderful lawyer who you would want on the other side of your case. He’s sensible, pragmatic and hugely experienced in money and children cases."
I can’t think of anyone who would handle a mediation better than Lisa.
Lisa Pepper is extremely hard-working and adored by her clients. She is a very empathetic and approachable lawyer.
Andrew secured me the best financial settlement for my claim. He is a credit to Osbornes Solicitors.
"Lisa Pepper was recommended to me as non-nonsense and able to help me with a difficult and confrontational divorce. She more than lived up to that – she was practical, collected and always available with a clear opinion and suggestions of how to move forwards. She also was open and helpful about costs and how to mitigate them"
"Mark Freedman is a very capable lawyer, renowned for not being a pushover and pushing his clients’ cases as much as he can, but will always talk sensibly about settlement. He is among the best – tenacious, good judgment and tactically aware."
"Mark Freedman is a dynamic and highly experienced family lawyer who fights extremely hard for his clients and is always in their corner, thus ensuring their loyalty and confidence. In a trial you would always want him on your side."
"Lisa Pepper is an outstanding mediator. She is very skilled and has an empathetic and professional approach which is comforting for clients. She never imposes her own view but is even handed and provides helpful guidance to clients so that they can make empowered decisions"
"Lisa Pepper has built up a very impressive mediation practice. She is very engaging and easy to relate to. She embodies mediation in the sense that she approaches her case in a very non-judgmental fashion and can quickly gain the confidence of those with whom she is mediating"
"Lisa Pepper is a brilliant mediator who produces results. She is effective at resolving matters without the need for the parties to engage in expensive and protracted litigation"
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"Jo Wescott is top notch and widely recognised as a rising star throughout the profession. She brings a winning combination of great judgement, an immense work ethic, and a relaxed and charming way with opponents and clients alike. Someone you want on your side”
Lisa Pepper is extremely approachable and this shines through in the outcomes she achieves from mediation. She makes clients feel at ease, which enables them to feel empowered to resolve matters amicably and find a creative outcome which many mediators may have overlooked.
Lisa Pepper is building a very strong mediation practice at very competitive rates and is able to build a rapport quickly with almost anyone.
Lisa Pepper loves her work and has a very sensible head on her. That means her practice is thriving and rightly so.
Lisa Pepper is very thorough in her preparation and has super personal skills to put parties in mediation at ease
Lisa Pepper – good litigator, very friendly and approachable but tough, “straight bat” with the opposition. Can steer a client deftly to settle when he should.
"Osbornes is pre-eminent for family law in North London. Mark Freedman is a real rainmaker. He is an excellent lawyer and has a top-notch practice"
Mark Freedman is intelligent and personable and has a good selection of high-net work cases.
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"Client-focused. Ready to fight the clients’ corner, but also ready where possible to steer client from unnecessary dispute. Mark Freedman – very experienced, with good instinct for the eventual result. Clients love him and he thinks ahead and directs the client to the best result for the client."
Mark Freedman is a serious player. A fearless family law litigator, who protects his clients’ interests passionately.
Breadth of knowledge and willingness to go the extra mile is what makes it stand out. Mark Freedman – devoted to his clients
Lisa Pepper is particularly recognised for her role as a mediator in complex cross-border disputes. Her practice also includes handling prenuptial agreements and issues arising from the dissolution of civil partnerships.
Mark Freedman frequently takes on high-value financial and children proceedings that involve complex tax, trust and accounting issues. Sources praise the "tenacity and common sense" he brings to challenging disputes.
"Mark is very experienced, competent, good with clients and takes a sensible approach to cases. He knows exactly what he's doing."
"Lisa Pepper is "caring and considerate of the issues behind a matter, and will speak directly if she feels clients need that advice."
"The very personable and client-focused Lisa Pepper."
"Lisa Pepper somehow manages to get parties to settle on matters where there isn’t much hope to start out with."
"Lisa can handle the large and complicated cases but takes equal care with the smaller cases. She is a highly skilled mediator who is a consummate professional."
"An exceptional outfit. They take on difficult cases, fight hard and win."
"The team frequently deals with cross-border estates for high–net-worth individuals."
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"Mark Freedman boxes clever, keeps his powder dry and when it comes to the end game he negotiates a really good deal."
"Mark Freedman has a specific focus on high-net-worth divorces and finance cases where there are overseas assets and trusts."
"Well-regarded family practice assisting clients with substantial matrimonial disputes and sensitive children proceedings."
"Mark Freedman draws acclaim for his work in high net worth divorce cases, including those involving company structures, family trusts and overseas assets."
"He never gives up. He fights for you to the end and has boundless energy."
Lisa Pepper is a skilled collaborative lawyer. Her instinct is always to resolve matters without compromising her clients’ interests.
Lisa Pepper is always looking for a solution and has a very sympathetic approach to clients. She is highly regarded for her collaborative law practice.
Mark Freedman advises high-net-worth clients and knows his stuff.
Highly regarded for his experience as a litigation and mediation expertise, Mark Freedman is tenacious and determined. Clients really feel that he is fighting their corner.
Andrew handled a very complex, 3 year legal battle for me, with a tremendous amount of patience and professionalism. He is very approachable, always kept me up to date, by phone and e-mail, and responded very quickly to my queries with excellent advice, sound strategic thinking and strong letters to put the other side under pressure. With top contacts for barristers, joint experts and mediation.
Lisa Pepper deals with separation proceedings and leave to remove cases. Sources describe her as "a great person to work with: constructive, helpful and always infectiously happy.
[The Family Law department] handles significant matrimonial finance cases and complex nuptial agreements. Respected for its expertise in cross-border children law matters.
Mark Freedman represents high net worth clients in complex financial disputes. Sources say that "he's a determined negotiator who'll always do the very best for his clients.
"Mark Freedman receives a lot of instructions from clients based abroad, often relating to complex divorce proceedings. Sources say: “His main strengths are his enthusiastic passion for the job in hand and his total dedication to his clients.”
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